Dating Violence

If you are a victim of dating violence, know that is is not your fault. Healthy relationships are based on mutual respect. A healthy relationship involves honest and open communication and is not controlling or manipulative. You should have the opportunity to have friends and do things for yourself outside of your relationship. Either partner in a relationship should be able to say “No” to any sexual activity for any reason, and should be able to end the relationship at any time without being harassed, threatened or being made to feel guilty or fearful. ​

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Dating violence
​warning signs

The more you know about dating violence, the more equipped you will be to help yourself and others. There are many signs of an unhealthy relationship. If any or all of these things are present in your relationship, talk to someone to get help. 

• Looking through your phone to see who you have been texting or talking to;
• Threatening to share private photos;
• Constant texting;
• Making comments about you or your body;
• Forced diets;
• Making threats;
• Yelling and swearing;
• Physically hurting;
• Controlling;
• Being possessive;
• Starting rumors;
• Being disrespectful;
• Feeling like you have to report what you are doing and who you are with.

If you know someone in an abusive relationship

• Do not be afraid to reach out to a friend you think may be in an abusive relationship.
• Tell them that you are concerned for their safety and you want to help them.
• If they tell you about abuse in their relationship, believe them. Remind them that you are there to support them.
• Listen and be supportive. Do not judge them or give advice.
• Acknowledge their feelings and be respectful of their decisions.
• Avoid asking questions. Let them share whatever they are comfortable sharing with you.
• Help your friend recognize that abuse is not normal and that it is not their fault. Everyone deserves to have a healthy relationship.
• Focus on your friend, not on their abusive partner. Do not attempt to confront the abusive partner or tell the victim that you will confront them.
• Encourage them to seek further help. Be prepared with information about community resources that could give them information and guidance. Offer to go with them if they would like.
• Do not make promises. Avoid telling them, “Everything will be okay.” This statement minimizes the incidents and are things you have no control over.

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Additional resources

www.cawsnorthdakota.org
www.thatsnotcool.org
www.breakthecycle.org
www.datingabusestopshere.com